encounters

I haven't really done one of these plain rants in a long while, so I thought that I'd do one of those today. Although I haven't changed much, there are things I'd like to sort out here on my blog.

Recently, I've been seeking help weekly. It's not changing my life drastically just yet, but everytime I'm introduced to unique, eye-opening concepts. Parts of my mind start to click and it's like putting together an annoying puzzle very slowly, but it's alright. I've learnt so much about myself and what my incapabilities are, and magically, I've come to accept them a bit more.

Everything happens for a reason, and as overused this expression is, it's still incredibly meaningful and true. Right now, my concentration and time management isn't good enough to complete my studies, but it's not something to be unhappy about. Because of the deep fear I've acquired after this time's failure, I'm now able to push myself to work harder next time, and to start earlier. In my case, when I say that I'm not able to revise properly, it's not because I don't understand, it's because I simply cannot bring myself to begin.

It's not something I'm able to solve instantly, but I'm fine with it. Eventually I'll get there, and I believe that I've been put in this path because there's certainly something I have to learn here. I believe that this is the right path for me, somehow, no matter how ridiculous it seems for me right now. I'll continue on with the faith that I've been put through this for a reason, and with the hope that I'll eventually discover my ways to solve this problem.

We're never able to discover the happiness present in our lives, only to realize and regret at some point in the future. Sometimes I blame myself for foolishly throwing away my calm days of childhood. Looking back, it's such an idiotic and meaningless decision of mine, but obviously, I didn't realize that the present was precious to me as a kid. So, I believe that it's always good to realize the greatness of everything that's with me right now.

No matter if it's something delightful or something difficult, it's still part of God's creation, or God's plan for me. I understand completely that life's excitement and surprises come from the contrast between happy and sad times, and without the latter nothing would be able to amuse me anymore. I have so much more in life than enough to keep myself living healthily without any suffering, it's just that I've been creating relentless problems to make myself suffer.

There's always a way out to the sufferings in life, no matter how, and that's what I'll always believe in. From where I'm standing right now, it might seem like a difficult obstacle, but maybe someday in the future I'll come to realize that I have been led on a great path to achieve what I'm supposed to. That's the kind of thought that I'll hold in my heart as I continue to work hard in the future.