my new theory (100th post!)

Now that I'm in quite a positive mood thanks to the Gwiyomi playing in my earphones, I thought I'd write something happy to make my life seem a little happier. Just a bit.

Yesterday I cried twice. Yes, I do admit that I cry far too easily, but it made me realize that something was wrong with my mental state. I failed my own academic expectations twice yesterday, which was why I uncontrollably burst into ridiculous tears. It's not that I've gotten over the pain, but now that I think about it calmly, I realize that it's not as terrible as it seemed yesterday.

My paper obviously didn't turn out to be quite good. I didn't even bother to find out what had gone wrong; I simply started wailing as I felt very helpless. It was the feeling of not knowing what to do, how to accept the results. I knew that I couldn't get all the things that I wanted, and that life wouldn't always go well, but I still felt discouraged.

Obviously crying nonstop wouldn't be a wise option, so I eventually stopped. After regaining a bit of conciousness, I gave it a thought again. I recalled my days back in junior school, and how I'd be delighted upon receiving a B.

I realized that it wasn't a low mark at all, even in my own standard. It was just the pressure of staying in the top 30 that made me worry so much.

Oh, and let this positive-ish post be my 100th :)