Blog 26/02/2014
"this night is sparkling, don't you let it go
i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
i'll spend forever wondering if you knew
i was enchanted to meet you"
This song perfectly describes my fangirling experience. Even though Taylor obviously wrote it to tell her wonderful love story and how she was enchanted, it's a fangirl song to me. And yes, you guessed it, here comes a post about my fangirling experiences. Not about who I fangirl over, but more like how I feel.
So here comes the person I fangirl over. She walks as if she's floating, light and somewhat elegant towards me. Towards me! Am I seeing illusions? Seems not. My breathing becomes a little softer, scared that she would hear my obnoxious breathing sounds; my heartbeats become a lot faster, as I question what she was going to do. Everything she does just seems so unbelievable. She sees me at the corner of her eye, and somehow decides to greet me with a simple "hello", but that's perfectly enough for me. No matter how short or expressionless the greetings are, it's totally fine because everything she does makes me gasp and open my mouth like a jerk. I recover from my short blackout of happiness, close my widely-opened mouth and greet her with a simple waving gesture, an extremely awkward one, kind of like those poorly-made, low-frame-rate animations.
She breaks into a short and soft laugh. The only thing that runs through my mind is, "what an idiot I am! What did I just do?!" She turns and leaves without a single word, and I, also without a single word, stare at her figure getting farther and farther away. I gawk at the fact that even her back looks better than others' backs.
The other time, I ran into her again. I was so struck by it that I turned my back towards her, so that I would not open my mouth wide and stare like an idiot in front of her. Despite the fact that my back is facing her, and I cannot see her, but it's like I can imagine how she looks like. At that moment, bursts of excitement overwhelm me and I feel like exploding of happiness. I can't take it. I'm gasping loudly. Everyone stares at me.
She greets me with a tiny smile on her face. I manage to naturally greet her back, but I'm exploding inside. I try hard to hold my breath, hoping that she would not notice how awkward I was. At the same time, feels were exploding inside me and I simply had difficulty breathing, the heart was beating so fast that I could no longer feel the pulse, and something was forcing me very hard to jump up and down hysterically.
I stare at her silently at the side. If half of her face is this amazing already, the entire face would kill me completely. Fangirling makes me feel so tiny, like I could never be as good as that person. But I absolutely admire her so much that I can't take it anymore. But I know, if I want to be friends with a person, I cannot see her as an idol or a goddess.
So I stare, with a breathing problem, my mouth closed, excitement bursting inside me.
"I'm running, I'm scared of breathing
'Cause I adore you"
i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
i'll spend forever wondering if you knew
i was enchanted to meet you"
This song perfectly describes my fangirling experience. Even though Taylor obviously wrote it to tell her wonderful love story and how she was enchanted, it's a fangirl song to me. And yes, you guessed it, here comes a post about my fangirling experiences. Not about who I fangirl over, but more like how I feel.
So here comes the person I fangirl over. She walks as if she's floating, light and somewhat elegant towards me. Towards me! Am I seeing illusions? Seems not. My breathing becomes a little softer, scared that she would hear my obnoxious breathing sounds; my heartbeats become a lot faster, as I question what she was going to do. Everything she does just seems so unbelievable. She sees me at the corner of her eye, and somehow decides to greet me with a simple "hello", but that's perfectly enough for me. No matter how short or expressionless the greetings are, it's totally fine because everything she does makes me gasp and open my mouth like a jerk. I recover from my short blackout of happiness, close my widely-opened mouth and greet her with a simple waving gesture, an extremely awkward one, kind of like those poorly-made, low-frame-rate animations.
She breaks into a short and soft laugh. The only thing that runs through my mind is, "what an idiot I am! What did I just do?!" She turns and leaves without a single word, and I, also without a single word, stare at her figure getting farther and farther away. I gawk at the fact that even her back looks better than others' backs.
The other time, I ran into her again. I was so struck by it that I turned my back towards her, so that I would not open my mouth wide and stare like an idiot in front of her. Despite the fact that my back is facing her, and I cannot see her, but it's like I can imagine how she looks like. At that moment, bursts of excitement overwhelm me and I feel like exploding of happiness. I can't take it. I'm gasping loudly. Everyone stares at me.
She greets me with a tiny smile on her face. I manage to naturally greet her back, but I'm exploding inside. I try hard to hold my breath, hoping that she would not notice how awkward I was. At the same time, feels were exploding inside me and I simply had difficulty breathing, the heart was beating so fast that I could no longer feel the pulse, and something was forcing me very hard to jump up and down hysterically.
I stare at her silently at the side. If half of her face is this amazing already, the entire face would kill me completely. Fangirling makes me feel so tiny, like I could never be as good as that person. But I absolutely admire her so much that I can't take it anymore. But I know, if I want to be friends with a person, I cannot see her as an idol or a goddess.
So I stare, with a breathing problem, my mouth closed, excitement bursting inside me.
"I'm running, I'm scared of breathing
'Cause I adore you"
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