annoying problems.

Sometimes, I really miss my old self. That one who never had to emotionally depend on anyone, the last kid to break into tears. I had a childhood that I was proud of, but right now, I can't really say that I'm proud of myself as a human being.

I hate the me right now, a girl who sheds tears so easily, a girl who always worries too much about everything. I despise this feeling of loneliness. It wasn't that people isolated me, it was just that I simply wanted to distance myself from the others, although it makes me feel lonely.

I don't want to use the word 'lonely' to describe my own feelings.

I believe that dependance is in the human nature, but I hate having to depend on someone, especially when it comes to emotions. I want to be the person to dry my own tears, the person to console myself and bring happiness to my own life. I don't want to need a certain someone to help me with such things.

I don't want to depend on someone to make me feel complete. I don't want to be that one foolish girl, running to someone with a full face of streaming tears. I want to have the power to make myself laugh again. I believe that I can hold my life in my own control. I won't be able to respect myself if I had to depend on someone to feel happy. That would probably be the most foolish thing to do.

Wanting is never enough. I'm never going to get anywhere. To be really honest, it's been a long time since I've felt so helpless. I used to be completely used to it, but now it seems scarier than ever. I hate myself like that more than ever.

It's not just one simple problem; it's many problems combined, making the problem much worse. It's probably my negative instincts plus my emotional nature plus my brain that tends to overthink everything, as well as the crucial fact that my pride never allows me to be dependant on others. I'll always ask, "why am I the one asking for help from others, and not the other way round?"

To put an end to this stupid and meaningless issue quickly, let me quickly conclude this. I'm pretty helpless, but as long as I don't think about it, it doesn't affect me. So here comes a random quote:

"When tomorrow comes, my tears will dry themselves. I won't be unhappy anymore."