euphoria
I don't always understand my own feelings. Although sometimes I'm able to analyze and talk about them, this time I'm just as confused as anyone else would be.
It's almost like I don't know myself anymore. You've taken my identity out of me, you've become that one thing I want to live my days for. I didn't really notice it at first, but I brought myself to a vulnerable position. The happiness of my days depended on the reactions that you gave me, and my emptiness came from your careless ignorance towards my words, and the unbearable distance between us. I don't think you're capable of feeling anything, so you won't understand my feelings right now, right? You'll never feel the bliss and exhilaration that you've given me all this time, right? Are you void of emotions? Because you're such a perfect mystery, nobody will know.
With you, I found the genuine feeling of happiness on someone else's behalf. I didn't understand how people could feel happy for others at first. I've tried to search for that very emotion for a long, long time, but I never really found it. All this time, I've been used to thinking, "I'd rather do things well to make myself happy instead." That was me, being the selfish, apathetic person I was. But when I met you, I learnt to feel happy for you. Although, perhaps you never realized any of my feelings, I was happier for you than myself. Because you work so hard and treat everyone with such respect and kindness, I really wanted to see you succeed and achieve great things in life. When you did, I became happier than anyone else.
Most of the time, I can't even tell if you're being sincere or not. But it doesn't matter anymore, because whichever way you utter your kind words in, it makes me happy. My feelings have become irrational; I don't know anymore. You could do whatever your heart desired, and you'd be able to do it better than the rest of the population. That's you, and that's probably why I'm now stuck in a huge whirlwind of feelings.
Our first encounter felt incredibly odd. You, being the typical you, didn't say a single word. And I, just like I always did, quickly jumped to conclusions about the person you were. In the earliest days, we didn't even have any formal, stilted conversations, not even a single moment of eye contact. I raged silently and made foolish assumptions. You didn't leave any lasting impressions on my judgemental mind, and things were left this way for a long, long time. That was, until our paths miraculously crossed again a while later. I didn't know you, but I perceived you to be a certain kind of person. At first, I still felt the urge to distance myself from you, because I was still stuck in my own blind thoughts. There were so many things that I had yet to discover about you, but I didn't allow myself to do so. And then, you changed my mind with your genuine actions.
Having seen too many people faking their personalities, I never gave you a chance. However, when I silently observed you for a while, I realized that you weren't one of them -- you probably weren't just pretending. As I stared at you for a little while longer, I slowly fell in love with your immense kindness. You treated everyone next to you with patience and utmost respect. When you showed your kindness and smiled gently, it was the most heartwarming and endearing sight I had ever seen in my life. Until now, I'm still beyond grateful that I've had the chance to witness such a beautiful scenery in my life; thankful to fate for bringing you into my life.
I've walked down a path with no return, a desperate, helpless path with no end. I wish that someday I can reach you, and you would allow me to listen to your stories. That's the one thing I hope for, and now that I've embarked on this long and tedious journey, no matter how long it takes, no matter how much I have to suffer, I have no choice but to continue heading towards its end.
It's almost like I don't know myself anymore. You've taken my identity out of me, you've become that one thing I want to live my days for. I didn't really notice it at first, but I brought myself to a vulnerable position. The happiness of my days depended on the reactions that you gave me, and my emptiness came from your careless ignorance towards my words, and the unbearable distance between us. I don't think you're capable of feeling anything, so you won't understand my feelings right now, right? You'll never feel the bliss and exhilaration that you've given me all this time, right? Are you void of emotions? Because you're such a perfect mystery, nobody will know.
With you, I found the genuine feeling of happiness on someone else's behalf. I didn't understand how people could feel happy for others at first. I've tried to search for that very emotion for a long, long time, but I never really found it. All this time, I've been used to thinking, "I'd rather do things well to make myself happy instead." That was me, being the selfish, apathetic person I was. But when I met you, I learnt to feel happy for you. Although, perhaps you never realized any of my feelings, I was happier for you than myself. Because you work so hard and treat everyone with such respect and kindness, I really wanted to see you succeed and achieve great things in life. When you did, I became happier than anyone else.
Most of the time, I can't even tell if you're being sincere or not. But it doesn't matter anymore, because whichever way you utter your kind words in, it makes me happy. My feelings have become irrational; I don't know anymore. You could do whatever your heart desired, and you'd be able to do it better than the rest of the population. That's you, and that's probably why I'm now stuck in a huge whirlwind of feelings.
Our first encounter felt incredibly odd. You, being the typical you, didn't say a single word. And I, just like I always did, quickly jumped to conclusions about the person you were. In the earliest days, we didn't even have any formal, stilted conversations, not even a single moment of eye contact. I raged silently and made foolish assumptions. You didn't leave any lasting impressions on my judgemental mind, and things were left this way for a long, long time. That was, until our paths miraculously crossed again a while later. I didn't know you, but I perceived you to be a certain kind of person. At first, I still felt the urge to distance myself from you, because I was still stuck in my own blind thoughts. There were so many things that I had yet to discover about you, but I didn't allow myself to do so. And then, you changed my mind with your genuine actions.
Having seen too many people faking their personalities, I never gave you a chance. However, when I silently observed you for a while, I realized that you weren't one of them -- you probably weren't just pretending. As I stared at you for a little while longer, I slowly fell in love with your immense kindness. You treated everyone next to you with patience and utmost respect. When you showed your kindness and smiled gently, it was the most heartwarming and endearing sight I had ever seen in my life. Until now, I'm still beyond grateful that I've had the chance to witness such a beautiful scenery in my life; thankful to fate for bringing you into my life.
I've walked down a path with no return, a desperate, helpless path with no end. I wish that someday I can reach you, and you would allow me to listen to your stories. That's the one thing I hope for, and now that I've embarked on this long and tedious journey, no matter how long it takes, no matter how much I have to suffer, I have no choice but to continue heading towards its end.
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let's all type some crap.